Oh Balance you are my nemesis sometimes...

I am not sure what it is about me & trying to achieve balance in my life. I would guess it has something to do with my all or nothing personality. I am either giving 100% effort or none at all. I am working to achieve some sort of  balance between work and home. Not gonna lie, it is not easy being a working mom. I never thought it would be easy, but I also didn't realize it would be THIS hard. Thankfully, we have the babysitter thing worked out & I am really happy with G's babysitter. She really loves G :) I don't have to go crying to work worrying that she is not getting the attention she needs....such a relief! I am also trying to balance being a loving wife. Adam and I are at an interesting season in our lives that has been rocked with change. Change isn't always bad, a constant part of this life, it just takes time to adjust. Him and I both feel time is something we need more of. When I am home from work he is studying and taking tests. We both often fall into bed at night, exhausted from the day's events. Balance....that is what I am looking for. 

An oldie of our SUPER TIRED little fam. This was right after G was born...even roxy looks tired! HA!

Sad Sunday

Hey there! I need to vent some feelings I have been having & get them out there.


Tomorrow will be G's first day at daycare...*sigh*


Adam & I have both been struggling with different emotions about it.


I know that it is the best thing for our family right now, but it is still difficult.


I am the only one employed right now, due to Adam being a full-time student.


This means that someone has to watch her while I teach & he's at school.


I have honestly gotten a lot of judgement about G going to daycare from multiple people.


I think they are dead wrong, but it still (as a parent) makes you question your choices.


It would be nice to have another working mom to talk to about what I am feeling.


Other moms have paved the way & gone before me, I know in my heart she will be OK.


Tomorrow will just be a hard day...when I get home from work she will already be in bed.


It is Back to School Night for my firsties & their parents!


So much to do so little time :)


Sorry it is a little rambling & a lot sad, BUT everyone has those days sometimes.

Summer is Almost Over

I can not believe how fast summer has FLOWN by! I know part of it was spending the days with my sweet little girl and that we went back to visit Oregon twice. I have spent my nights trying desperately to finish my honeymoon scrapbook, jogging, & reading other 1st grade teacher blogs! I have gotten some fun ideas & inspiration. My challenge for the upcoming school year is going to be to learn balance. I always seem to have more "balls" in the air than I can manage to juggle. I have learned that as soon as I take one "ball" out of rotation I quickly replace it with something new. I am super competitive with myself & have the need to be the very best at what I do. I will have to strive to balance being a wife, mother, teacher, & friend. I tend to get crazy focused on one aspect & let the others "drop". What can I say I am a passionate person! :o)

My newest quest is to work really hard to get into shape. I am watching what I eat (closely), not dieting cuz that makes me CRAZY! ;] I am also striving to workout 6 days a week. This consists of jogging 3 days/week at the park & going to the gym 3 days/week. I am not going to lie it has been a struggle....BUT my goal is to run a 1/2 marathon next May with my darling brother & his sweet girlfriend. Who, by the way, are both amazing track athletes! I definitely have my work cut out for me. My loving Mom bought me a gorgeous jogging stroller to help me in my quest for fitness. We took it for a spin last night & it was fab-u-lous!

The jogging stoller in all it's glory!
G after we went for jog last night (all of us: Me, G, Adam & Rox)

My blue-eyed princess in the Bumbo

Information Overload

so i am sure that i am in the same position of every parent that has come before me. there is so much information out there about how to raise a baby. i sometimes feel like how am i going to know the right answers. there are mixed opinions about all of the important issues...cry it out vs. parental soothing, what formula is best, how often to hold the baby, working mom vs. stay at home mom. i wonder how are we going to make the best choices, that won't negatively affect her, in the long run.

i think part of this new mom journey is about becoming confident in my abilities and intuitions. it is hard when she is not able to tell us what she needs. i know with time i will become more assertive in motherly convictions. i felt like i read all the books before, but as with labor, you can never be fully prepared for what is to come.

little miss G has given up sleeping day or night right now & is calling me from her playpen to hopefully get her back to sleep. wish me luck!!

Silly Faces!

For Fun

It is so much easier to blog & post pics when there is a beautiful little girl living in the house now. Everyone is inspired to blow the dust off the cameras & take pictures! No new updates really, still in the adjusting/survival phase. The silly faces that Genevieve makes are my favorite thing! When she is sleeping she will sometimes break into a wide grin...adorable. Adam is forever trying to capture these smiles on his camera, but they are too quick. I have officially given up on breastfeeding/pumping with this little one. I have had to wrestle with the guilt of it all, but at the end of the day it is what it is. My midwife told me to remember that many babies have grown up just fine being formula fed. It has defiatley been the most difficult part for me & I have had to pray about the emotional & mental toll it has had on me. To spare you all the gruesome details I described the situation as, "A nightmare that I couldn't wake up from." I am feeling some relief it is all over, but mixed with some guilt. Pray for me if you think of it! :)

Professional Hospital Pics

We decided to have a few pictures taken by a professional photographer. I have to admit there are a few really cute ones! :) The pictures can be ordered or used for your viewing enjoyment. You need to login in & use the provided password to view the pictures. The info is: www.bellababyphotography.com/login Password: 0326genevievefarmer Bye for now friends!